I'm not sure I know the first thing about it. I don't get it. It's so easy for me to miss loving others because I'm so worried about my self. It's easy for me to see the speck in a friend's eye and completely miss the log in my own eye. It is easy for me to love my friends and almost impossible to love my enemies (those who have hurt me, those I don't understand, those I'm jealous of, those who get under my skin, those people I just don' t like). Have you ever tried to sincerely pray for your enemies? Not a prayer of damnation, either, a prayer of blessing and peace. Not easy.
Living a life like Jesus goes against all of my gut reactions. Every single one of them. I read the following sentence in an article a few weeks ago and it has literally changed me. The irony is that it was an article posted by a friend that was meant to point out how wrong an entire group of people were, and instead it pointed out how wrong I am. For once I saw the log in my own eye instead of the speck in another's. Sort of a miracle. "...the central tenet of Christianity as it has come down to us is that we are to reach out when our instinct is to pull inward; to give when we want to take; to love when we are inclined to hate; to include when are tempted to exclude." (Mark Osler) In short, we are to choose love every time, and it will cost us. It will cost us our comfort, maybe our "rights", it will take time, it will make us think.
It doesn't fit within our culture to respond this way. As an American, I have rights. There is justice for when I am wronged. I am encouraged to be happy, and remove any unhappiness from my life, even if it's a family member or spouse. I am told that forgiving someone over and over again is being an enabler. It's recommended that I carry a weapon, or mace at the least, so I can hurt anyone who tries to hurt me. I'm told to be careful when helping people--they'll just want to take advantage of me and could possibly put me in a bad position. Being independent and self-sufficient is seen as smart and successful; living in community and relying on others is seen as socialism. I see the value in a lot of these statements, but I also see how they contradict the teachings of Jesus.
When I read the Bible, specifically the parts when Jesus was here on the earth, I'm dumbfounded by his unconditional love for all people. The example that has been in my head for weeks now is The Last Supper. The symbolism of giving thanks, breaking the bread, and drinking the wine is sacred. It is a holy act of remembrance and reverence for the Savior to All. And at that supper, Jesus graciously invites everyone to partake. EVERYONE. Even Peter, who would deny him three times. That's betrayal, friends. Ever been betrayed? Ever been let down by someone? Jesus knew about this already and yet he broke the bread and drank the wine with him, and most importantly, invited him to do so.
EVERYONE. Even Judas, who helped murder him. Could you forgive someone who was an accomplice in murdering you or a loved one? Could you invite them into your home, sit at the table with them, and break bread with one another? Could you do all that with love in your heart? I couldn't. I can't even hang out with someone who doesn't recycle let alone with someone who is helping others kill me! (That was a joke about the recycling. Sort of.)But isn't that what the love of Christ is supposed to do to us? Make us go huh?? It should be baffling and overwhelming. It should have us scratching our heads. The love of Christ should make those who don't know it, curious, not angered.
I think of the response of the Amish families to the Nickel Mines shootings--their sincere forgiveness had the world and the media baffled; I think of the response of the man who was mugged in a Subway station by a teenager--when his wallet was taken he offered his coat, too. And then dinner. (more here) This was an unexpected response. In a world where our rights and freedoms seem to trump many teachings from scripture, it's hard to imagine what unconditional love looks like.
I don't know how to love like this, but I want to. I want to give grace to others; I want to believe the best and not assume the worst; I want to listen more than I speak (THIS is laughable to those who know me!); I want to love, with no strings attached. I have a long way to go on all of these. Everyday I can make a choice to remember the love and grace and forgiveness I have received and to extend it to others. Everyday I can make progress, baby step progress. But only by the grace of God. And that grace truly is amazing.
- M
