Please *don't* hold your applause

"Nothing is more important than to learn how to maintain a life of purpose in the midst of painful adversity." -Timothy Keller

Before we moved to Mexico, Alan and I read My Utmost for His Highest everyday. And every.single.day the words challenged us, moved us, and mostly freaked us out. The one in particular that hit me the hardest wasn't about being radical and selling everything you owned (which we mostly did), or moving to a foreign land (which we definitely did). No, it was that one that said, and I'm paraphrasing, what if the work you are called to do never gets recognized? What if you go unnoticed your entire life? Would you still do the work? My chest is getting tight just thinking about this.

I didn't read that one and shrug it off because affirmation is like oxygen to me. My survival without it is debatable.

There is a personality profile out there that uses animals as the different types: Dog, Beaver, Otter, Lion. I am a straight up Otter. I am direct, open, I love making people laugh; if it's not fun I don't understand why we're doing it; when I feel stressed I will attack and be sarcastic; and I really like recognition and applause. In fact, I've asked if Alan could please applaud me more around the house. I mean, it's my love language, after all.

Recognition and applause are not bad things. They indeed are beneficial to encouraging others and affirming their work. However, they can't be the only things that drive us to do good in the world. Because if that's all we've got going for us, if applause is our oxygen, we will slowly die inside when we are in seasons of receiving little to no affirmation or recognition. In the seasons where it seems like no one is rooting for you, it will be almost impossible to maintain a life of purpose.

This has been a tough "season" for us. Multiple times a week we are talked down to or laughed at because of our lack of spanish skills, even though we are trying so hard. Our spanish skills also limit us in how we can serve, thus our ideas, gifts, talents are sort of dormant in this season. Oh, we try to use them, but trust me when I say that no one is applauding.

I don't say all this out of feeling sorry for myself. No, I've moved past that. I don't feel sorry for myself because I know this is a season of character growth. And as painful as it can be sometimes, I really am grateful for it. And the truth is, the greatest challenge has been this: even when no one around me is applauding or doling out affirmation, am I still willing to serve the God who called me here? Am I still willing to be present and faithfully serve as I said I would? Am I okay with doing work that goes unnoticed?

We were reminded a few times this week to keep Jesus the focus. No matter what else is going on around us, no matter how much our pride is being painfully chiseled away day by day, no matter how unnoticed we feel, we can still choose to keep Jesus as our focus.

Keeping Jesus as the focus looks like praying for our enemies (those who "rub us the wrong way").
Keeping Jesus as the focus looks like doing the dirty work, especially the unnoticed dirty work.
Keeping Jesus as the focus looks like daily expressing gratitude.
Keeping Jesus as the focus looks like blessing those who hurt us.
Keeping Jesus as the focus looks like finding our value in who we are and not what we do.

And if we can do that, if we can keep our focus on the One who formed us and knows us and loves us, then in the face of adversity, in seasons that are so hard and feel like they will never end, we can maintain our sense of purpose, stay present, and faithfully serve the God who called us here.

-M

Ps. If you're in a similar season, I would like to affirm your awesomeness. And for the record, as I'm affirming your awesomeness, I'm applauding you. Because sometimes we all just need a good round of applause.