I've been thinking a lot about how life is one long strand of different seasons. And this can be a refreshing thought, if you're in a rough season, or a scary thought, if you're smooth sailing right now. It always makes me laugh to think how resistant we are to the changing of seasons instead of accepting that this is what life is. Life is change.
As we begin the second year of our 2-year commitment to be in Mexico, of course we are thinking about what's next for our family. After experiencing so much transition for the last 2 1/2 years since we started the process of moving to Mexico, all I want to do is move to Idaho and live on a farm, drink coffee on the front porch with Alan, homeschool my kids, and live off the land. I am 99% sure this might be a knee-jerk reaction to living in a slightly crowded, busy, farm-less city, but there's a chance I'll be wrangling horses and saying farmer things like 'Yee-haw' and 'Woah Nellie' in the near future.
Moving to Mexico was a dream of both Alan and I. We both felt peace about coming, we both felt a passion to fight human-trafficking, and both had a desire to come and serve in whatever way was needed. What I'm not sure we were prepared for was that reality of me being the one working while Alan took care of things at home. We pretty much had an entire role reversal and with that, small identity crises. And in the last few weeks, I've been having a hard time with these roles, because in the deepest part of me, not only do I want to be home with my kids, baking muffins, breaking up squabbles, talking about school, and occasionally giving them a bath, in the near future, we want to adopt children. And that's when Alan reminded me that it's a season. And then I reminded myself of that one post about being content. Whatever.
We are in a season of serving, learning, depending, learning, trusting, and lastly, i don't want to leave this one out--learning. It is strange because it is simultaneously so good and so hard. Similar to parenting or marriage--it's not easy breezy but with hard work, it's so rewarding and fulfilling.
And the real gift is being able to remain present in the current season while planning and dreaming for the next. When I'm single and long to be married, I relish in my independence and seemingly endless opportunities. When I'm married and longing for children, I enjoy the every-night-date-nights, sleeping in, and rational conversations with adults that don't include things like "please don't eat your poop." When I have young children and long for them to grow independent, I cherish the endless cuddles and I-love-yous, the innocent questions, and the uninhibited, carefree fashion sense that includes things like helmets, bee antennae, and only one pig-tail.
And so it is now--I remain present in my current season of seeing the beauty that rises from ashes as rescued girls are experiencing healing and restoration and life; I enjoy this time of Alan running errands and doing the finances because truthfully, it's a nice break; and I cling to all the character growth that comes from living in a foreign country and trying to make sense of life everyday.
We talk almost everyday about what the future might hold. Obviously, we don't know and so much can change in one year. Our desire is to always remain open to possibilities and to continue asking God, through prayer, to guide our next step. And to remember that life is made up of ever-changing seasons that deserve our full attention and participation.
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| Pretend these are the horses I'm wrangling. |
Moving to Mexico was a dream of both Alan and I. We both felt peace about coming, we both felt a passion to fight human-trafficking, and both had a desire to come and serve in whatever way was needed. What I'm not sure we were prepared for was that reality of me being the one working while Alan took care of things at home. We pretty much had an entire role reversal and with that, small identity crises. And in the last few weeks, I've been having a hard time with these roles, because in the deepest part of me, not only do I want to be home with my kids, baking muffins, breaking up squabbles, talking about school, and occasionally giving them a bath, in the near future, we want to adopt children. And that's when Alan reminded me that it's a season. And then I reminded myself of that one post about being content. Whatever.
We are in a season of serving, learning, depending, learning, trusting, and lastly, i don't want to leave this one out--learning. It is strange because it is simultaneously so good and so hard. Similar to parenting or marriage--it's not easy breezy but with hard work, it's so rewarding and fulfilling.
And the real gift is being able to remain present in the current season while planning and dreaming for the next. When I'm single and long to be married, I relish in my independence and seemingly endless opportunities. When I'm married and longing for children, I enjoy the every-night-date-nights, sleeping in, and rational conversations with adults that don't include things like "please don't eat your poop." When I have young children and long for them to grow independent, I cherish the endless cuddles and I-love-yous, the innocent questions, and the uninhibited, carefree fashion sense that includes things like helmets, bee antennae, and only one pig-tail.
And so it is now--I remain present in my current season of seeing the beauty that rises from ashes as rescued girls are experiencing healing and restoration and life; I enjoy this time of Alan running errands and doing the finances because truthfully, it's a nice break; and I cling to all the character growth that comes from living in a foreign country and trying to make sense of life everyday.
We talk almost everyday about what the future might hold. Obviously, we don't know and so much can change in one year. Our desire is to always remain open to possibilities and to continue asking God, through prayer, to guide our next step. And to remember that life is made up of ever-changing seasons that deserve our full attention and participation.
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